


Dolores(You Called Her Dot)

by MerelyJamieMerelyWriting



Series: Remember When... [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Best Friends, Canon Compliant, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Literal Sleeping Together, M/M, Making Out, Multi, Oral Sex, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Protective Bucky Barnes, Protective Steve Rogers, Semi-Public Sex, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-23
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2019-06-14 22:44:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15399174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MerelyJamieMerelyWriting/pseuds/MerelyJamieMerelyWriting
Summary: It begins with the very first time Steve ever hit anyone- before Bucky's growth spurt when they were still the same size and gets stronger with Steve's birthday trip to Rockaway Beach where the boys encounter the mischievous Dolores(Dot) and then everything shifts without breaking before they end up at the Modern Marvels of Tomorrow Exhibition.["Why'd you kiss her?" Bucky asked, question shooting out of him like a bullet with the force of his frustrated confusion. Steve went still in the darkness, thankful that Bucky couldn't see the color rising in his cheeks."ShekissedmeBuck," Steve tried when his lack of response finally grew more uncomfortable than trying to answer the volatile question."After, Steve. Why did you kiss her after?"]





	Dolores(You Called Her Dot)

             They were sixteen the first time it happened. The growth spurt that left Steve behind was still a year and a half away and they were just two scrawny boys with round bright eyes and a knack for causing trouble. They'd been walking down the street one evening in late August, shoulders knocking casually as they tried to eat their popsicles before they melted down their arms in the suffocating heat.

             An older man had stumbled out of a pub a couple yards in front of them and leered at Bucky as he sucked the strawberry flavored ice into his mouth. "You're the Barnes boy, aint ya? You tell your Papa we miss him down at the ponies, I got something that'll melt a little slower in that pretty mouth of yours."

             Bucky's eyes had gone flat and he'd stiffened against Steve's side as he jerked the popsicle out of his mouth, tossing it into the gutter and looking away as he tried to keep walking. Steve frowned, something sharp blooming in the center of his chest at the way Bucky seemed to shrink in on himself when the man stepped out to block their way.

             He started to say something but Steve reacted on instinct before a single word made it out, punching him in the chin so hard that the clack of his teeth hitting together echoed in the quiet of the evening. Bucky snapped out of the haze he was in and his eyes shot over to Steve incredulously.

             Steve didn't look at him, too focused on the way the man didn't look anything more than amused when he spat out the mouthful of blood. "Fuck off, you leave him alone or I'll-"

             The drunk man punched him then reached out and grabbed Steve by the throat, lifting him off the ground easily and looking back at the terrified Bucky with a mean grin. "Your little friend's just as mouthy as you were, this is gonna be fu-"

             Steve's eyes narrowed at the man as his face turned crimson and he waited for the perfect moment, shoving his popsicle into the man's mouth in the middle of the word violently. He choked, letting Steve drop to the ground as he tried to spit the popsicle out.

             Steve turned to Bucky with a fierce grin and grabbed his hand, taking off back down the street and dragging him with him. He glanced over at Bucky as they turned the corner a few blocks down and ducked into an alley, almost tripping when he made eye contact.

             Bucky's eyes were wide and soft and amazed and staring straight back at him with an intensity he hadn't ever seen directed at him before. "Are you okay?" Steve wheezed, pressing his shoulder into Bucky's as they leaned against the side of the building and tried to catch their breath.

             Bucky slapped his inhaler into his hand and didn't pull away right away, fingers lingering gently at Steve's wrist for a few heartbeats after Steve's closed around the plastic. Bucky's other hand drifted up and wiped the blood away from his chin, huffing out a quiet laugh as the corner of his lip quirked up.

             "Am I oka- Are you kidding me? That was the most amazing thing I've ever-" Bucky murmured, quick and low as he practically glowed with pride and adoration. Steve froze, staring back into Bucky's eyes, abruptly and blindingly hard as his vision blurred with oxygen deprivation. Bucky dragged Steve's wrist up to press the inhaler at his lips with a snicker. "I can't believe you just- He's gonna kill us both but that was- Seriously Steve, I think I can die happy, but what were you thinking?"

             Steve dragged in a few breaths until he was moving air a little easier, face crimson as he blinked dumbly at Bucky. He shrugged eventually and looked away as he mumbled, "Didn't like the way he talked to you-" _the way it affected you_ "-why'd you- who- What'd he mean about your pop and the ponies Buck?"

             Bucky's jaw went tight and he looked away as his eyes went glassy. "Y'member when we first met and I had a broken jaw? My dad lost eight hundred bucks at the tracks the week before. I was-"

             Steve bit his lip as rage boiled through him when Bucky's voice choked off, he'd heard about folk using their kids as collateral at the tracks but his ma was a saint- he was lucky. Then he realized that with what that man had suggested outside the pub and the broken jaw, it was pretty obvious that he had-

             Bile rose in the back of Steve's throat and his eyes stung as he glanced at Bucky's mouth, fighting the urge to run straight back and punch that creep again. Then Bucky's tongue flicked out to wet his lips and suddenly the only thing Steve could think about in connection with Bucky's lips was his own and he spiraled off into a whirling pit of shame and want and confusion.

             They'd spent the next year and a half getting into and losing fights, Bucky chasing after Steve's example and Steve just trying to keep Bucky's shining eyes locked on him. Then Bucky'd shot up a foot and a half and suddenly started winning his fights, rescuing Steve from his half the time by the time they were eighteen and the war was looming on the horizon.

             The morning of Steve's nineteenth birthday, Bucky showed up on his doorstep before the sun came up with two train tickets to Rockaway Beach. The train didn't leave for another three hours but the train station was a town over and he only had enough money for the days agenda- not a taxi to the station.

             Steve had yawned in his face and pretended to go back to sleep until Bucky had just slung him around to piggyback, laughing when Steve immediately nestled his face into his neck and went back to dozing while he got them to the train station.

             The streets were deserted, everyone was sleeping in for America's birthday so no one was around to ruin Bucky's plans for Steve's with a stray rude comment. Steve didn't really wake up until the sun broke through the clouds as they pulled up to their stop a few hours later.

             "Morning sunshine," Bucky drawled from the seat next to him when he sat up with a start, eyes darting around as he tried to remember where he was and why.

             "You kidnapped me this morning," Steve said slowly, head tilting as he sorted through the foggy disjointed memories of the morning. "You- Did you dress me? That's not the point, the point is that you know I'm useless before nine- You took advantage of my weakened state to-"

             Bucky watched him glance around again with a bemused smirk, not saying a word as Steve tried to figure out what was happening.

             "To-" Steve broke off again uncertainly and let out a small huff of irritation. "What the hell are we doing?"

             A grin broke across Bucky's face as he replied brightly, "I'm taking you to-"

             "Now pulling in to Rockaway Beach station, please be ready to depart in approximately five minutes once we have reached a complete stop. Thank you."

             Steve's face lit up at the announcement and he looked over at Bucky excitedly.

             "Happy Birthday!" Bucky laughed, leaning over and knocking his shoulder into Steve's affectionately. Steve laughed back, cheeks flushing slightly as he leaned into the contact just enough that their upper arms were still touching after.

             Steve licked his suddenly dry lips and looked out the window as his entire focus narrowed down to the point where they were touching. "Wow, I can't believe you- This is perfect, thank you," he murmured after a few heartbeats went by without Bucky moving away or saying anything else.

             "It'll be a little busier this time around," Bucky replied in a low voice, leaning into Steve more as his voice took on a mischievous quality. "There's a county fair goin' on cause of the holiday and I figure we can sweep a couple local gals off their feet with our big city charm, maybe win 'em a stuffed toy and take 'em to the fireworks show on the beach later?"

             Steve rolled his eyes dramatically and snorted self deprecatingly. "Yeah, _your_ big city charm maybe-"

             "Nah Steve, you got plenty of charm- You just need to have a little more confidence in-"

             "A little more confidence," Steve scoffed lightly, shaking his head in amusement. "In what exactly? I know what I-"

             "Shut up, you don't- You've got no idea what-" Bucky snapped heatedly, eyes burning into Steve's insistently as Steve's breath caught in his throat. "You're amazing, you're the best person I've ever met Steve. I'm serious, if you'd just have-"

             "The doors are now opening for Rockaway Beach Station, please exit the train in an orderly and prompt fashion. Thank you for riding with us today, have a lovely Fourth!"

             They shot to their feet, cheeks aflame as they stumbled off the train. Bucky wrapped an arm around Steve's shoulders, leaving the simmering tension unremarked upon as he steered him towards the scent of elephant ears and popcorn. "Let's go win some stuffed toys and find us a couple of dames to woo, whattaya say?"

             After the fourth pair of girls had giggled politely with a glance at Steve while turning Bucky's invitation down, Steve's mood was decidedly soured. Bucky was either somehow oblivious to the fact that Steve was the problem or he was being deliberately thick in some twisted show of solidarity.

             Steve opened his mouth, already frowning at Bucky's undampened enthusiasm, but before he could speak there was a small sound from behind him. Steve spun around, stumbling back a step as Bucky's hand settled on his shoulder to steady him.

             It was the tiny redhead that had been trailing after the willowy blonde with big blue eyes Bucky'd been after originally. Steve had noticed her right away, it was rare that he met a girl smaller than him these days so she stood out. She'd been quiet at the time, standing off to the side with a small smile as she listened to Bucky, but Steve had thought she'd looked put off by the way her friends had reacted to Bucky's proposal.

             "You guys are real sweet, y'know?" she asked, looking up at them shyly as she squinted into the sunshine to see them. "I'm sorry about- They can be kind of- Well, I'm sorry anyways. Are you brothers?"

             Bucky shifted to block the sun from her eyes and grinned charmingly down at her, laughing brightly as he squeezed the arm around Steve's shoulder a little tighter. "Nah, might as well be at this point though- Been the best of buds since we were knee high! How long have you been friends with-" Bucky trailed off with a glance at the group of girls she'd split off from.

             "Oh!" she exclaimed with a musical laugh, dainty hand flying up to half cover her mouth as though to cover the sound. "No, no we're not- Leandra is my cousin, those are her friends. I'm just in town for the holiday actually."

             Steve felt the corners of his mouth quirk up in amusement and he glanced up, nearly startling when he made eye contact with her. The girls they talked to almost never looked at Steve unless prompted and it was never in the eye.

             "Where ya from darlin'?" Bucky drawled, eyes twinkling as he took in the way she was looking at Steve.

             "Little one light town no one's ever heard of," she replied, tilting her head to look up at Bucky. "I'm Dolores-"

             "Dolly, come on!"

             Bucky's fingers twitched on Steve's shoulder when her jaw tightened at the way Leandra stretched the vowels of the nickname into a whine. "Be right there Lea!" she called back in a forced too sweet voice and Steve glanced up at Bucky, silently urging him to intervene.

             "Actually, Dot here's gonna come with us sugar- See, I just promised her the big stuffed bear over there and I'm a man of my word. We'll meet up with you on the beach later for the fireworks!" Bucky winked at Dolores as he spoke and a relieved smile bloomed across her face.

             She turned back to Steve and he found himself smiling back easily, fingers curling against the slight curve of Bucky's waist where his hand was resting. "Dolores, that's a really pretty name. Sorry about him, is it okay if he calls you Dot?"

             "No one's ever called me Dot before, I suppose I don't despise it," Dolores replied, slipping her arm through Steve's free one and waving dismissively in her cousin's direction. "And I appreciate the rescue enough, you can call me whatever you want. It was Steve, wasn't it?"

             Steve nodded and shivered lightly, fully enveloped in human contact in a way that he hadn't ever been before with Bucky's tall solid presence on one side and Dot's tiny bright warmth on the other.

             Bucky tugged at Steve's shoulder and steered them toward the ball toss game boasting a large stuffed bear prize, it advertised a nickel for ten throws and the big bear looked like it was for ten perfect throws. They laughed their way through three dollars worth of nickels over the rest of the afternoon as Bucky refused to stop trying until the man at the booth thrust the bear at them and shooed them off.

             They'd gone on the ferris wheel after, Bucky holding the stuffed bear on his lap so that the three of them could still fit in the same carriage. Steve had seen Bucky mutter something to the person running the ride and he was pretty sure he'd seen him slip something to him so when the ride suddenly jerked to a halt as they reached the top- Steve just raised an eyebrow at Bucky and shook his head.

             They shouted up that it would be between twenty and thirty minutes before the ride would be moving again and Bucky leaned forward awkwardly around the bear so he could see.

             Dot reached out and pulled the bear away from him as she shifted over into Steve's lap with a giggle, laying the bear across the seats so that its head was where she'd been sitting. Dot ignored both Steve's shaky gasp and Bucky's delighted grin to exclaim warmly, "There you are, I was beginning to think Mr. Fuzzles had consumed you."

             "I was starting to think that was to be my fate as well but alas fair maiden, you've rescued me from his evil clutches with your quick thinking and decisive action," Bucky replied slowly, leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees as he glanced past her for a moment to check that Steve hadn't gone into an asthma attack or something.

             "Well, it's the least I could do after you saved me from my stuck up cousin and her mean friends." Dot's eyes widened deliberately at Bucky as she swung around to face the front, legs pressed together in the crease between Steve's tense thighs where she was perched halfway down his lap.

             "The least, huh?"

             "Oh, the very least," she shot back, shifting restlessly in Steve's lap as he tried not to choke. Steve's hands landed solidly on her hips when she slipped back an inch as she leaned in a little to mirror Bucky's posture.

             Bucky's tongue flicked out along his lips as he smirked. "The _very_ least, okay so- suppose you were to do the regular old standard least, what would-"

             His voice cut off on a rough inhale when she twisted nimbly in Steve's lap and pressed her lips against his gently. Bucky watched avidly as Steve swallowed jerkily before hesitantly kissing her back, careful to match her intensity but not to push her any further.

             Bucky bit his lip as his cheeks tingled with heat, arousal flooding through him as he reached out carefully to nudge Steve's hands into place at her jaw and shoulder from where they were hovering nervously in the air next to her. Steve made a strangled noise when Bucky's fingers tickled at his wrists and his eyes shot open to search out Bucky's over Dot's shoulder.

             Bucky's eyes were wide, pupils blown, and Steve writhed under his stare as all the confused arousal from the last few years rose back to the surface while Dot tried to shift back in his lap just a little more.

             Dot pressed her lips against Steve's one last time, letting her tongue dart out to tickle at his bottom lip before pulling back and turning to face Bucky again. She tilted her head curiously at him and eyed how hard he was biting his lip with a grin. "Would you like your thank you kiss n-"

             Bucky didn't let her finish, darting forward and licking his way into her mouth with a grunt. Steve caught her by the shoulders when she almost tipped backwards and Bucky grabbed her hips, pressing her back toward where he knew Steve was hard and aching as he pressed his tongue back along hers.

             "What are you thanking me for darlin'?" Bucky murmured into the kiss, skimming his palms hotly down the outsides of her thighs through the thin material of her skirt. "You're the one makin' the whole night perfect, I oughta be thankin' you."

             Bucky nudged her back another inch, forcing her legs to part slightly when the backs of her knees hit Steve's and she slid back again until her back was pressed against Steve's small but toned chest and her calves were dangling on either side of Steve's knees.

             "Whaddaya say Dot? Would you let me thank you? Please?" Bucky groaned, nipping playfully at her lip and pulling back to straighten up where he was kneeling. He waited until she nodded at him before forcing Steve's legs apart so he could shuffle forward to settle between his feet, ducking under the hem of her skirt where it was stretched over the space between Steve's legs.

             Bucky smoothed his hands up the insides of Steve's tense thighs under the pretense of needing Dot's legs to be forced a little wider and felt a thrill of triumph course through him as he leaned in to shift her underwear to the side. Dot gasped, shifting back against Steve's cock as Bucky's warm breath ghosted over her.

             Steve turned her head and caught her lips in another kiss, trying to muffle the noises they were both making as Bucky pressed her back against Steve and licked at her until her legs were twitching so hard Steve had to reach down to help hold her thighs down.

             After another minute or two, she gasped and her back arched as Bucky dragged her over the edge of her orgasm. Steve panted, eyes wide and amazed as Bucky reappeared from under the floral hem of her dress the moment she relaxed and her head tipped back against Steve's shoulder.

             Steve stared at Bucky's mouth, licking his lips helplessly as he took in the way Bucky's were shining obscenely in the fair lights. "Jesus Buck-" Steve breathed out, heart racing as his still hard cock twitched against Dot's backside when Bucky grinned at him.

             Dot wriggled against Steve with a soft groan and maneuvered around until she could reach Bucky's waistband, tugging it open and bending in half to suck at him teasingly as someone shouted up that they had about ten minutes of repairs left. Bucky sucked in a sharp breath and bit his lip hard when she began sucking in earnest.

             "What does it taste like?" Steve blurted out softly, hips twitching up against Dot's helplessly when Bucky's tongue swiped over his top lip thoughtfully.

             "Too hard to- Be easier to-" Bucky's breath hitched and he bit back a moan as he reached out toward Steve with an impatient gesture. "Just c'mere-"

             "Wh-What?" Steve managed to get out, eyes darting from Bucky's eyes to his glistening lips and back again as Bucky leaned over Dot's back with an eyeroll.

             "You wanna know what it tastes like or not?"

             Steve only thought about it for another second, leaning in and closing the distance confidently until he was close enough that their breath was mixing. Bucky swallowed hard when Steve looked into his eyes uncertainly, slowly moving to brush their lips together as though testing the waters.

             Bucky grunted and tilted his head to slot their lips together more fully, slipping his tongue in along Steve's when Steve gasped at the feeling of his fingers along his jaw. Steve bucked against Dot's rolling hips and she tipped forward, gagging delicately around Bucky's cock with the motion.

             Bucky tried to pull away from Steve when the sensation of Dot's throat working around the head of his cock while she gagged threatened to push him over the edge but Steve's hand flew up, slipping around to the back of Bucky's neck as he ducked in to suck his lower lip into his mouth before he could get too far away.

             "St-Steve wai- I'm- Oh f-fuck," Bucky whimpered out brokenly as Steve dragged his teeth over his bottom lip. Steve shoved his tongue into Bucky's mouth eagerly as Dot squirmed against him. Dot ducked down until her throat convulsed around Bucky's swollen cock again and Bucky choked on a whining moan as his grip on Steve solidified.

             "Tastes good," Steve rasped and blinked Bucky into focus only to discover the same look he'd been chasing for years plastered across his face. "What-"

             Bucky licked his way back into Steve's mouth as he lost the struggle and came hard, shoving his tongue into Steve's mouth with the pulsing waves of his orgasm. Steve sucked at his tongue until Bucky shivered and jerked back, eyes snapping back open as he panted in the sticky July air.

             Steve basked in Bucky's expression greedily for a moment, the soft amazement in his dazed eyes and the way the weight of his full attention made his balls tighten with arousal pulling a weak breathy noise out of Steve. Dot pulled off with a lewd pop and swallowed a couple times before licking her lips.

             She sat up between them and turned halfway around in Steve's lap, reaching down to grope at him through his pants teasingly. Steve groaned and chewed at his lip as he collapsed back against the seat, eyes caught on her swollen lips as he pressed up into her grip desperately. There was a loud mechanical clank and Steve glanced to Bucky as he wavered on the edge.

             "Come on Steve, don't got much time-" Dot murmured as the ride creaked back to life and they began inching closer to the ground. She moved to slip a hand into his pants but Steve slipped a hand into her hair instead, pausing a few inches away to glance up at Bucky again when a sharp intake of breath split the air.

             There it was, Steve leaned in the rest of the way as he drank in Bucky's round eyes and the way he'd frozen in the middle of tucking himself back into his pants to stare across the few feet at Steve looking both incredulous and impressed in equal parts.

             Dot adjusted her grip as Steve pressed his tongue in, sliding it gently along the edge of her teeth until she relented and sucked his tongue into her mouth with a gentle moan. Steve's hips stuttered as the bitter taste broke over his tongue all at once and his vision went blurry then black as his release overwhelmed him.

             Dot pressed her handkerchief into Steve's palm as she broke the kiss, nimbly shoving the stuffed bear back over into Bucky's lap and settling back into her original seat as they approached the halfway down point. Steve cleared his throat, quickly cleaning up with the small soft cloth and stuffing it in his back pocket before they reached the bottom.

             When Steve looked up, Bucky was staring around the fluffy stuffed head of the bear and Steve's tongue flicked out to wet his lips as he realized he could still taste a hint of Bucky's release. Bucky's eyes dropped to Steve's lips heavily before he slouched behind the stuffed animal entirely, hiding from Steve as he tried to recover his composure.

             "Were you boys ready to head over to the beach for the fireworks?" Dot asked, voice a little hoarse but fond as the couple in the compartment ahead of them climbed off.

             Bucky chuckled and straightened up, grinning across at her as they swung to a stop at the exit. "Course we are, what would you say to a funnel cake for the walk over?"

             Dot beamed at him and linked arms between the two of them, not noticing the furtive glances they were shooting each other whenever they thought the other one wasn't looking as they made their way toward the beach.

             Dot had offered the funnel cake to Steve and he licked his lips again, shooting a fleeting glance at Bucky before he smiled at Dot apologetically. "That's alright, you guys enjoy. I'm- uh, not hungry," Steve mumbled, cheeks flushing a little as Bucky's eyebrow leapt up.

             Bucky reached out wordlessly to offer him the large lemonade they were all supposedly sharing and Steve flushed redder, looking away as he winced and added that he wasn't really thirsty either.

             "Suit yourself then Rogers," Bucky grumbled, sipping at the lemonade before passing it to Dot with a forced smile.

             A few hours later, they said their goodbyes to Dot and crept into the back of a freezer truck with the logo of a butcher shop back in Brooklyn splashed across the side while she distracted the drivers with some small talk.

             Steve stopped short as the door clicked shut behind them and the space went blacker than the dead of night. There was a soft noise before the flickering light of a match illuminated the gleaming meat hooks hanging from the ceiling and revealed a pile of burlap sacks in the corner before Bucky shook the flame out.

             Steve stumbled blindly in the direction of the burlap and paused next to the source of the rustling noises filling the silence, squatting and reaching out to the fabric pile in an attempt to help shape it into a more bed like shape. Steve's fingers slid against Bucky's and the whistle of his sharp breath at the contact was just as loud as Steve's gulp.

             "Bu-" Steve began hesitantly after a minute had passed in tense silence but Bucky cut him off immediately.

             "Why'd you kiss her?" Bucky asked, question shooting out of him like a bullet with the force of his frustrated confusion. Steve went still in the darkness, thankful that Bucky couldn't see the color rising in his cheeks.

             " _She_ kissed _me_ Buck," Steve tried when his lack of response finally grew more uncomfortable than trying to answer the volatile question.

             "After, Steve. Why did you kiss her after?" Bucky's voice was unsteady and Steve could see his eyebrows drawing together in his minds eye as he took in the flat cautious quality to his tone.

             "I-" Steve broke off and bit his lip as panic surged up in his chest. "Well, why'd you kiss _me_ then?"

             "That aint-" Bucky broke off with an exasperated huff of air. "Kissin' you so you can taste a woman is completely different than- than-"

_Than kissing a woman so you can taste me._

             The rest of the sentiment hung in the air between them, not quieter in the least for having been unspoken.

             "Why'd you kiss her Steve?" Bucky asked again, voice low and tense and impatient and Steve panicked.

             "I just- I- I don't- I mean- I just wanted to kiss the pretty girl Buck," Steve blurted out, hands shaking as he realized friendships had ended over things like this before and that he wasn't willing to say anything that might make Bucky run. "I didn't think about what I was doing until- until I was already doin' it."

             "If you just wanted to kiss the pretty girl then why did you- why didn't you want any of the f- I mean, you didn't even take one sip of the goddamn-"

             "Buck- Bucky, please, c'mon- it's still my birthday, can you just- I don't know what I- I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean anything weird about it, I swear."

             Bucky snorted, a short derisive skeptical sound that made Steve's stomach sink in anticipation of the rebuke but it never came. He waited for him to bring up the funnel cake again, muscles tight with the urge to flee despite the knowledge that he was in the back of a moving vehicle and had no where to go.

             The rustling of the material stopped and Steve crawled onto the makeshift bedding, curling up on his side on the left half with his back to the middle. After another minute Steve felt the burlap shift as Bucky scooted back until his back was pressed against Steve's warmly.

             Bucky ripped one of the sacks down the side and tossed one half back over Steve in the crisp air of the freezer truck.

             "You remember when we were like ten or eleven and I started staying over every night in the winter? And I told you my brothers were picking on me and didn't let me have any blankets and I was too cold to sleep all night long?"

             Steve laughed at the memory, shaking his head as he remembered the nights they'd spent laying just like this under the heavy goose down comforter his mother had made to keep them warm. "Course I do, wasn't gonna let my only friend freeze-"

             "That's why I did it," Bucky said softly and Steve could hear the smile in his voice. "I marched into Ma's room one night after the first big snow of the year, you'd had the sniffles at school earlier in the day, and told her I had to go to your house for the night cause you didn't have any siblings and I didn't think there was any way you'd be able to keep warm all night without three brothers to share the blankets."

             "What'd she have to say to that?" Steve snickered, pressing his shoulder back against Bucky's and knocking their heels together under the burlap.

             "She just smiled at me, bundled me up and sent me on my way. You know my mom's always been sweet on you," Bucky replied, chuckling reluctantly. "I knew after the first night that I'd been worrying for nothing, you were plenty warm under that blanket, but I still came every night there was snow on the ground until we were old enough to know better-"

             "Why are you tellin' me all this Buck?" Steve asked, nerves sharpening his voice in the dark of the truck.

             "Cause I-" Bucky broke off and cleared his throat. "Cause I always knew better, I just- I slept better than I had in years that night and I- I dunno, I like being around you and I want you to know that nothing's ever gonna- I'm with ya Steve, it's you and me against the world- Got it?"

             Steve swallowed thickly at the note of forgiveness and acceptance in Bucky's voice and shifted a hand back past his hip to squeeze at Bucky's desperately. "Even if I-"

             Bucky squeezed back and cut him off firmly, "No matter what Steve. You and me, to the end of the line. Deal?"

             "Deal," Steve breathed back, relaxing his grip on Bucky's hand until the last two fingers of their hands were all the was still intertwined.

             They stayed on that precipice for another year, careful to avoid ending up in situations that lent themselves to intimacy and not hitting any bumps until November of '38 when Steve's ma got sick. Bucky'd been there through the long terrible nights as they waited it out to see if she'd pull through, squeezing Steve's hand right back until their knuckles were white and their fingers were numb.

             He hadn't let go until Steve'd had to step away to say a few words to eulogize her at the beautiful headstone his parents had refused to let Steve turn down. He'd bitten his lip bloody as Steve placed the drawing he'd done in her casket, a brilliantly happy remembrance of her from their childhood as she spun in a beautiful intricate flapper dress before the depression had hit and her shoulders had fallen under the weight of the world.

             He turned to his parents to ask permission to invite Steve to stay for good but by the time he turned back Steve had vanished. When he caught up to Steve outside his apartment he could tell before he opened his mouth what Steve's answer would be, just from the set of his jaw.

             "You and me," Bucky had reminded him insistently, shouldering his way inside and ignoring the reluctance in Steve's eyes. "Where's the hooch? I know your mother, she never stopped squirreling it away just in case they changed their minds again."

             Steve hesitated in the open doorway, eyes filled with a terrible lonely sadness and fear as his fingers twisted in the hem of his shirt. "Buck-"

             "I'm not taking no for an answer so you might as well shut the door and get in here."

             Bucky walked in a little further, pausing in front of Sarah's bookshelf to glance over his shoulder at Steve as he stomped on a floorboard and it popped loose. He reached down for the booze and walked over to grab two glasses with a sort of grim determination as the front door clicked shut eventually.

             The last night Sarah had been coherent, Steve had stepped out to use the bathroom and she reached over to clasp Bucky's hands in hers entreatingly. "Please James, you've always been there for Steve. I've always worried about him, he never got to know his father and I feared he'd be stuck with just me forever but year after year there you were- long after his other friends left him behind because of his asthma or what have you."

             "I'd never leave him behind ma'am, I promise." Bucky's response had been confident and fast and Sarah's eyes had warmed at him before she continued weakly.

             "I believe you sweetheart, I really do. Now I need you to promise me something else." She had told him where she hid the alcohol and asked him not to let Steve be alone, to keep him safe if he could and to never let him feel unloved. Bucky had just nodded, throat tight and eyes wet when Steve fumbled at the door on his way back in.

             Now he turned to Steve and held the glass out solemnly, raising his own as Steve accepted his.

             "To Sarah Rogers, the most beautiful soul in all of Brooklyn."

             Steve managed a wobbly smile as he knocked the edges together with a soft, "Yeah, to you Ma."

             Steve's composure didn't break until much later, they'd gotten piss drunk and spent the evening telling story after story about Sarah from the twenties before she'd starting working so hard until they crawled over to the bed.

             Once they were buried beneath the comforter, backs pressed tight together as their breathing started to even out, Bucky felt Steve's shoulders curl forward away from him. Steve's breathing hitched a moment later and a shudder ran down the line of his back where it was still in contact with Bucky.

             Steve sucked in a trembling breath and tried to wrestle his composure back as Bucky tried to catch his own breath around the excruciating pain of his heart crumbling to pieces at the muffled sounds of Steve's desolation. Before he could think twice about it he was rolling over under the blanket and tugging Steve back against his chest, curving himself around Steve's shaking form as he started to sob so that he could mumble soothing nonsense in his ear.

             Steve pressed back against Bucky's solid warmth and snuffled against the pillow as the embrace lulled him into a fitful sleep. Bucky stayed awake for the next few hours, panicking internally at the unspoken line he'd crossed by rolling over but loathe to let Steve go just in case he woke up again.

             Bucky woke up first and made himself at home, getting some eggs frying by the time Steve rolled out of the bedroom to blink owlishly in the morning light at him. Steve didn't know it yet but it was the start of a new era, they lived together for the next few years as the world crept up to and then dove right into the next world war.

             By the time Bucky got accepted to the army in '42, Steve had begun to take his daily presence slightly for granted and he started applying with increasing frequency and urgency all the way up to the day Bucky had rescued him from the alley in his dress uniform.

             Steve wanted to throw up as his eyes drifted over the uniform desperately. "You get your orders?"

             Steve watched as a mess of sympathy and pride and protectiveness flickered over Bucky's face as he ducked his head nervously. He glanced back up as he smiled gently, eyes hopeful but not optimistic about Steve's reaction.

             "One oh seventh, Sergeant James Barnes shipping out for England first thing tomorrow."

             Steve felt the keen edge of the unfairness as his fathers units' number fell out of Bucky's mouth and a gut punch of fear that Bucky would meet the same fate during his tenure in the 107th made him itch to run to the nearest recruitment center to beg them to take him.

             "I should be going," Steve grumbled softly, frowning unhappily as Bucky forced a smile and slung an arm around his shoulders to guide him out of the alley.

             "C'mon man," Bucky said cajolingly, jostling him slightly before continuing enthusiastically, "It's my last night! Gotta get ya cleaned up!"

             Steve fought the urge to roll his eyes, the last thing he felt like doing was going along with another one of Bucky's exhausting girl wooing adventures. "Why, where we goin'?" he asked suspiciously, trying not to sound as cranky as he felt.

             "The future," Bucky announced dramatically, flinging the article about Howard Stark's expo into his chest.

             A few hours later they were walking down the stairs to the expo and Bucky was still trying to convince him that he wasn't missing out on anything. "I don't see what the problem is, you're about to be the last eligible man in New York-" he exclaimed, ignoring Steve's lack of enthusiasm. "Do you know there's three and a half million women here?!"

             Steve sighed and responded automatically, "Well, I'd settle for just one."

             "Good thing I took care of that!" Bucky crowed, grinning widely as a girl and her friend perked up to wave at him and Steve's stomach sank.

             "Hey Bucky!" the tiny brunette called out, clutching at her friend who was giving Steve a slightly disgruntled look already.

             "What'd you tell her about me?"

             Bucky pulled him along like he didn't notice Steve was suddenly walking through quicksand as he replied brightly. "Only the good stuff."

             The evening went exactly as Steve anticipated and he snuck off while Bucky was staring at the floating car with stars in his eyes because all he could think about was that Bucky was going somewhere he couldn't follow and he didn't know how to breathe anymore.

             He was standing in front of the reflecting recruitment poster when Bucky's voice rang out behind him. "C'mon, you're kinda missing the point of a double date- We're taking the girls dancing!"

             Steve smiled at his persistence and turned to him with an apology in his eyes. "You go ahead, I'll catch up with you."

             Bucky stared at him hard for a moment then glanced back into the recesses of the office darkly, mouth twisting in frustration. "You're really gonna do this again?"

             "Well, it's a fair-" Steve began patiently, trying to brace himself for the backlash he knew was coming as he continued determinedly. "I'm gonna try my luck."

             Bucky's nostrils flared as he snorted and his posture went aggressive. "As who? Steve from Ohio? They'll catch you, or worse they'll actually take you."

             Steve fought back a flinch as he set his jaw and replied, "Look, I know you don't think I can do this-"

             "This isn't a back alley Steve, it's war!" Bucky cut him off furiously, eyes flashing as Steve shot back just as heatedly, "I know it's a war, you don't have to tell me tha-"

             "Why are you so keen to fight?" Bucky hissed, fear flashing through his face as he spluttered, "There's so many important jobs-"

             "What do you want me to do? Collect scrap metal in my little red wagon?" Steve asked incredulously, eyebrows raising at Bucky.

             "Yes!" Bucky shot back, glaring at him as he demanded, "Why not?"

             "I'm not gonna sit in a factory Bucky-" Steve snickered a little at the idea and shook his head as he looked away, trying to ignore the twinge of betrayal as he realized Bucky really thought he couldn't hack it in the army. "Bucky, come on! There are men laying down their lives-" _you could be laying down your life-_ "I got no right to do any less than them-" _than you-_ "That's what you don't understand, this isn't about me."

             "Right," Bucky retorted hollowly, sizing him up as he finished slowly in a challenging tone. "Cause you got nothin' to prove-"

             "Hey Sarge," the brunette from before called out, breaking the tense air between them abruptly as Bucky tried to shake off the confrontation. "Are we going dancing?"

             "Yes we are!" Bucky called back, smiling overly large and fake at them before turning back to Steve with an exhausted sigh. "Don't do anything stupid until I get back."

             Steve's heart clenched as Bucky half turned with a frown and called out with an apologetic hint of a smile, "How can I? You're takin' all the stupid with you!"

             Bucky turned back, eyes shining in the fair light as he strode back over to Steve with long strides. "You're a punk," he said thickly, leaning in to hug him tightly and sucking in a deep breath through his nose.

             "Jerk," Steve returned easily, squeezing him back just as tight. "Be careful."

             He watched Bucky walk away as the hole in his chest grew larger and his heart was racing by the time he called after him lightly, "Don't win the war til I get there!"

             Bucky turned and saluted him half jokingly as he rejoined the girls. Steve turned to the building, took a deep breath and walked in. When Dr. Erskine offered him his chance, he didn't hesitate. His heart steadied out and the world stopped spinning, the path forward became clear to him.

             He'd make it to the war, he'd make it back to Bucky, and then they would both come back to their little shared flat in Brooklyn and everything would go back to normal. He just had to get through training first, he just had to be the best and get selected for the special program Erskine had vaguely mentioned.

             If there was one thing Steve Rogers knew about himself, it was that he belonged with James Buchanan Barnes- He could feel it in his bones. And the one thing Steve Rogers didn't know how to do?

_Give up._

**Author's Note:**

> [I'm working on another series in the MCU called **The Space Between Us Dwindles As The Days Pass** , you absolutely don't need to read that to read this because I intend them to stand on their own as well but once this reaches a more modern setting it will be happening in the same fic-verse as that series. So if you're reading that one, there will be some parallels later on that you will recognize but you will never be lost in the narrative of either series if you're not reading both. The second installment will bring us to the end of the story in the first Captain America movie and the third installment in this one will probably be a pre/post Avengers but pre winter soldier fic set at the compound that will show Steve trying to settle into life in the modern era and how he's coping with his loss.]
> 
> Next time Steve sees Bucky, the dynamic will be flipped between them with Steve being the rescuer and Bucky being the damsel. I'm excited to share the next part with you guys, please please please let me know what you think! Your feedback drives me and fills my motivation meter exponentially.
> 
> If you're waiting on the next part of my Starker series, I'm working on it- I promise! I'm just trying to establish Shuri's position in Wakanda with Steve and Bucky before I commit to her characterization in the next weekend so stick with me! :)


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